Can Phoenix rise?

I went to a Christian retreat called Via di Christo last winter and I have a cross necklace from it with the engraving ``Christ is counting on you.`` Since then I have been more courageous in stepping out to share the Words of Hope with nonbelievers.

As it turns out I did not do enough.

I have been friends with a man whose screen name was Phoenix for nine years on the Internet. Both writers we shared and critiqued one another`s work. He was very talented and I often told him he had the potential to be a very sarcastic Tolkien. :-)

We did not talk about faith all that much but I tried to reflect Christ`s love for him as he contracted a virus that caused kidney failure in him and as he moved back home to care for his parents who had dementia and cancer, expending the little energy dialysis left him with as their caretaker.

He was Wiccan. He honestly believed his ``magick`` was healing his mom and that his runes and stones and spells would lead to healing. That if he did good in the world with his ``power`` and not evil that he would live in an eternal ``Summerland`` with ``The Goddess.`` I did suggest to him ``but what if The Truth and the Way really are the Truth? Wouldn`t it be fantastic that all your sins are forgiven and that He died for you?``

He said ``no thanks.``

I said ``you worship nature -- wouldn`t it be great to know the one who created it all?``

No effect whatsoever.

He did do so much good in the world. He showed sacrificial love to his parents who had emotionally abused him when he was a child. He held his tongue when his mother cursed him and was gentle as he could be when he had to re-dress his dad who would randomly discard his pants in his dementia.

He was there for a lot of struggling young ladies. Listening -- not coming on to them -- not that he was in any physical position to do much about it anyway.

He stayed with two different friends through the night when they were suicidal. He did not leave their side. He convinced one of them who was in fact ill to go to a hospital. The other he returned personally to her family when they returned from being away.

None of it matters though because he did not believe. He never believed. He experienced cruelty at the hands and mouths of those claiming to be Christian -- any of us would have turned cynical.

But because he did not accept the cross and believe in the sacrifice of Christ for our salvation.

There is no possibility that he is anywhere that springs eternal life and hope.

I pray that Christ will retrieve his soul -- that the love he showed for others reflected His love even though...it didn`t. I get the reality.

But I struggle with it.

I did not pray for his salvation when there was still time -- I prayed for his healing -- I guess in vain.

I pray that he can be at rest and at peace. I know it is not up to me to determine who sits at the right hand and who does not.

But Hell seems so unfair.

I know that God is God and he does not offer situational cheats to salvation. Grace through faith in the word.

If any pastors out there know of a loophole though--I would like to bring the case of Phoenix before God.